An Ex Soldiers Poem

Dear Syd

With war looming I enclosed a poem I wrote for the gulf war, I had only recently left the military. Friends and soldiers I had trained were preparing to move to the gulf I felt a great guilt for not being there with them. But I know apart from those who die in battle the rest of us will all have to leave sooner or later.

I MAKE ALL MY COMMAND DECISIONS FROM MY NICE SOFT THINKING CHAIR

AND I WEAR A BLANK EXPRESSION FOR MY SOUL SEEMS ELSEWHERE

I'VE GONE OVER ALL MY ORDERS A THOUSAND TIMES IT SEEMS

I'VE CHECKED ALL OF THE EQUIPMENT, I'VE DONE THIS IN MY DREAMS

NOW I'M COLD AND I'M TIRED THE START LINE SEEMED SO FAR AWAY

I'VE GROWN TIRED OF TRAINING, I'VE BEEN LONGING FOR THIS DAY

NOW I'M LOOKING AT THE GARDEN, NOT AN OUNCE OF SAND IN SIGHT

I'M NOT LOOKING THROUGH A NIGHT SIGHT, ALL I SEE IS PURE SUNLIGHT

WHEN I BECAME A SOLDIER THEY SAID YOUR SCARRED FOR LIFE

BUT I NEVER FELT THE WOUNDS OR THE SCAR, LEFT BY THE KNIFE

AT LEAST NOT UNTIL I WALKED AWAY AND TRIED TO LIVE MY LIFE

Michael Sanderson

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